Happily Ever After After All

Marriage is no new concept, but has been held as a much celebrated tradition for countless centuries. Indeed, it may seem like marriage has always been one of society's highest held ideals. And this ideal certainly continues to prevail today. The importance of finding a life-partner is instilled in us at an extremely young age. Just think about nearly every single Disney movie that has ever been produced. Most all of Disney's endings are fairly predictable as they all end the same: the male and female protagonist fall in love and live happily ever after. Even in Wall-E, a movie about a robot that cleans trash on the rotting remains of planet Earth, Wall-E manages to find himself a partner.

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In addition to being fed the idea that everyone should find a partner by movies, love songs, and a variety of other medias, children also learn to fear being single in their circles. Think about how many times in elementary school children discussed the fear of "dying alone", or made fun of the generic "cat-lady" who lives alone with no one but ten cats to keep her company. All of the media and talk even pushes some children to rush into dating as early as the fifth grade. Both the ideas that marriage is a vital component to a happy life and that married people are the overwhelming majority of the population are drilled into a child's head early in life, and these beliefs tend to carry throughout life.

But what if neither of these idea's are actually true? The number of single people has been steadily on the rise for years, and now actually makes up slightly over 50% of the United States Population, as can be seen in the data collected by The Pew Research Center. It is also interesting to note that an astounding 30% of the population has never been married. Equating to almost one out of three people, it becomes clear that single people are not such a minority after all, but on the contrary, are actually quite common.

It is also a misconception that single people are doomed to a life of unhappiness. While marriage is of course a wonderful thing for a couple that has found love, and does indeed lead to much happiness, the absence of such a marriage may not necessarily mean that a person cannot pursue happiness in other areas (such as a career, social work, primarily family, etc...). While many studies have proven that married individuals are happier than singles at large, it is interesting to investigate how this may not be the case for every individual. Psychology Today did a study and found that people with high avoidance goals (desires to avoid conflict at all costs) were equally happy in a relationship or single as they do not respond well to the inevitable conflict paired with relationships. But even with such a high percentage of unmarried people, and the possibility of living an equally happy life as a single, single people face quite a bit of judgement and stigmatization for their marriage status.

Singles are negatively stereotyped and may face a large amount of judgement for their marriage status. Researchers found that women who have never married reported feeling "exposed" in regards to their status, and felt strong pressure to conform to the norm and find a partner (Live Science). When asked about marital status or plans, a single person might feel cornered and begin to believe that there is an inherent problem with his/herself that is preventing them from entering a long-term relationship. There are many stereotypes of single people including that they are undesirable, needy, desperate, and issue-ridden, when really he/she may just not be prepared for, or desire a long-term relationship. Dr. DePaulo has coined a popular term, "Singlism" to describe this sort of stereotyping. This sort of negativity can have a profound effect on a single individual.

Marriage is of course a wonderful, and beautiful thing. However it should not be displayed as the only option; marriage does not always make sense for everyone. Instead, some people can be just as happy independently. While there is still much stereotyping that occurs against single people, it is actually quite common. For many, being single just makes more sense.