College Dating

Through the course of this blog, we have discussed at great length many of the reasons as to why so many people feel pressured to quickly enter into a long-term relationship, as well as a few of the adverse effects this scurry can create. I believe that there is no environment where this holds true more strongly than it does on a college campus.

The Pennsylvania State University- Wikimedia

College is an extremely exciting time of all of our lives as it is the very first time that most of us enter the real world and is characterized by trying all sorts of new songs that help to advance our personal development, and discover who we are. College is when we all really buckle down and get ourselves ready for our lives after education, not only professionally, but emotionally as well. While studying and getting great grades is the clear path towards professional development, there is much speculation as to how college should be spent socially.

Many students believe that one of the most important things to do during their time at their four-year university is to find a long-term romantic relationship, and there is indeed much pressure for students to find a romantic partner. According to a survey conducted by the Independent Women’s Forum, 63 percent of college women hope to meet their spouse during their time in college. Considering that college only lasts for four years, finding a partner for the rest of your life can be quite a task. Four years does not leave the typical person with nearly enough time to explore all of his/her different options and to find the one special someone that we might dream of. In fact, the Atlantic calculated that the average age of marriage in the United States is 27 for women and 29 for men. Considering that the typical student graduates college when they are only 22, most people still spend 5-7 years single after receiving their college degree. Of course this is not true for all people and an estimated 28 percent of people really do marry their college sweetheart according to Business Insider. But the 28 percent of people marrying people they meet in college is a drastically different statistic from the 63 percent who hoped to find their partner in college.

Many college student’s believe that since college is indeed the time for trying new things, one of which being a part of a committed relationship. Caie Kelly provides an insightful article on The Harvard Crimson arguing that some of "the most valuable experiences at [college] often take place not in the classrooms learning from venerated professors but from time spent with peers” and that one of the most valuable college experiences is to have a relationship of deep emotional support and experience. While this may be true, I don’t believe that students should be stressed to force a relationship.

Pattee Library- Wikimedia

It has been shown that on average students who are consistently dating new people throughout the course of their four years at college have GPAs a quarter of a point lower than their consistently single counterparts in a study conducted at the Brigham Young University. It makes intuitive sense that when someone spends so much time with a significant other, his/her time available to study would decrease. But besides just lowering time spent on working towards high GPAs, dating may take away time from other very important college experiences as well. Many people argue that being in a long-term relationship in college limits the amount of opportunities one has to meet other people and expand their social circles. Perhaps spending so much time on one person takes away valuable time from joining more extracurricular activities, making more unique connections, and just exploring what college has to offer.

I am by no means arguing that no students in college should date, or even that certain other activities are more valuable than finding a romantic partner. Many people find wonderful long-term relationships during their college career and could not be any happier. However, I am arguing that many people place too much of an emphasis on finding someone so early in their life when they still have so much time after college. Dating in college is a trade off, and while much experience can be taken can be taken away from dating, a lot of valuable experience can be taken away from other areas of the college experience. Perhaps people should spend as much time in college finding themselves before they try to find someone else.