Making a "Lifelong Commitment"

In last week's blog post, we explored some of the countless ways in which a married couple receives economic relief for being in a committed relationship. By some estimates an individual single for life can spend an extra million dollars on taxes and other expenses just for not being married. It then seems quite reasonable that most people in the United States are quite inclined to say "I do". If being in a long-term loving relationship is not motivation enough, there's certainly quite the financial benefit. In fact, in a survey conducted by The Pew Research Center, when married couples were asked what the most important reasons for their union were at their time of marriage, thirty-one percent listed financial stability.

The Pew Research Center

Granted, financial stability seems to be the lowest priority, but for thirty-one percent of couples to list it as a primary reason to marry seems pretty substantial. According to The Los Angeles Times, more than four out of every ten americans report struggling to pay their bills. With so many individuals with real financial concerns, the added break of getting married can be quite alluring. However, considering that marriage has always been highly valued as a lifelong commitment to a loving partner, might it seem a bit counterintuitive for some marriages to be based off of financial stability rather than relationship stability? With such enticing rewards following marriage, might a couple be a bit eager to enter a long-term relationship that they may or may not actually be ready for?

According to Business Insider, the United States has one of the highest divorce rates in the entire world at fifty-two percent. This means that every marriage in the United States, statistically speaking, has a fifty-two percent likelihood to fail. This is ironic considering that according to the Pew Research Center study mentioned earlier, eighty-seven percent of married couples reported "making a lifelong commitment" to be one of their primary reasons for their marriage union, a percentage clearly much larger than the mere forty-eight percent that actually treat their marriage as a lifetime commitment. Now obviously this huge discrepancy can not be attributed entirely to rushing into marriage for financial reasons, but considering so many couples listed this as a primary reason to marry, it is most likely at least partially accountable.

There are many different reasons as to why divorces should be avoided. Of course, marriage as has been said a number of times already, marriage is a lifelong commitment. In all weddings, both members of the union vow to "in sickness and in heath, in good times and woe, for richer or poorer, keeping yourself solely unto [one another] for as long as you [they] shall live". This line is pretty unambiguous in regards to the intense commitment that brides and grooms are supposedly prepared to make. So simply on principle the divorce rate representing that more than one half of all marriages ending in divorce is quite pitiful. Our modern standards have marriage have deep roots in religion where ending of such a sacred union is heavily frowned upon, and in some cases (such as in the Catholic Church) completely prohibited.

But divorces can be much more serious than just broken commitments. For obvious reasons, divorces bring about a huge load of stress upon those getting divorced and their families. Holmes and Rahe created a stress index where various major life-changing events were compared in terms of their stress effects as reported by a general consensus of the population. The exact comparisons can be found on MindTools, but divorce is listed as the second most stressful life event, second only to the death of a significant other. Such stress can have a profoundly negative affect on a person's health. Even worse are they effects of divorces on children. The Week lists a staggering number of serious negative affects on a child's health including a higher risk for dropping out of school and a higher propensity for crime.

It is clear that the negative affects of divorce should be avoided at all costs. With a divorce rate of fifty-two percent, perhaps our society should change the way that we think about marriage. In a world where the importance of finding life partners are pressed at very young ages, harsh stigmas and stereotypes exist for single people, and outstanding financial benefits are provided for married couples, it should come as no surprise that so many couples rush into marriage before they are ready. Unless we change the way we treat marriage as well as single people, high divorce rates are here to stay.